I need some advice here. I’ve been with my kids’ father for 9 years, and we’ve broken up a couple of times due to his drug addiction and domestic violence. We got back together in 2021, but after about a year and a half, he invited his drug-addicted father into our home and relapsed again. While I was pregnant with our fourth child, he was abusing me. He has a history of arrest for domestic violence and also suffers from mental illness. I took him to court, but he lied to the judge, and they granted him temporary custody. I put a restraining order on him to protect my kids. Recently, he’s been threatening me because I didn’t want to get back with him. He said things like “you are going to pay for keeping the kids from me.” I’m really scared, especially since I have evidence of him abusing me and controlling me. I don’t want to let the kids go with him because he hasn’t changed in just two months. What should I do? Can he use this against me in court?
If there’s no custody order, DO NOT give him the kids at all. Seriously, get a restraining order first and consider moving somewhere safe. Reach out to a domestic violence organization for help.
Fenn said:
If there’s no custody order, DO NOT give him the kids at all. Seriously, get a restraining order first and consider moving somewhere safe. Reach out to a domestic violence organization for help.
Thanks, I’ll definitely look into that. I need to keep my kids safe.
I’m in CA and successfully got a DV restraining order against an ex. Find a local DV organization that can help you compile evidence and support you in court. You deserve to feel safe.
Kaius said:
I’m in CA and successfully got a DV restraining order against an ex. Find a local DV organization that can help you compile evidence and support you in court. You deserve to feel safe.
That sounds like a good plan. I have a lot of evidence to back me up.
Check out the DV Hotline for local resources. They can guide you through what to do next. https://www.thehotline.org
Emerson said:
Check out the DV Hotline for local resources. They can guide you through what to do next. https://www.thehotline.org
Thanks for the link! I’ll reach out to them.
Without a custody order, you don’t have to let him take the kids. You can’t be held in contempt without an order. How old is the son who wants to live with him?
Vaughn said:
Without a custody order, you don’t have to let him take the kids. You can’t be held in contempt without an order. How old is the son who wants to live with him?
He’s 8 years old. He has ADHD and identifies more with his dad, but I know it’s not a safe environment.
@Ursula
That’s tough. Make sure to get him evaluated. Your kids need stability right now.
Definitely go to the police and get a restraining order. Connect with a local DV organization for support. Document everything you can. If you have to, record your interactions with him.
Xyla said:
Definitely go to the police and get a restraining order. Connect with a local DV organization for support. Document everything you can. If you have to, record your interactions with him.
I’ll do that. I already have videos and messages saved for evidence.