I’m not trying to keep my 11-year-old away from her dad, but it’s getting difficult every time he’s supposed to have her. We live 1.5 hours apart, and we always meet halfway every other weekend. But lately, his car keeps breaking down, and most of the time, he can’t pick her up. So, I end up driving her the whole way to his place or picking her up when his car doesn’t work.
I’m tired. I also have a 3-year-old at home, and I’m almost halfway through my pregnancy. It’s a lot of driving for me. I asked him if he could borrow someone else’s car, but he said no. He gives me money for gas, but I’d rather not drive all the time.
We have a court order that says he gets her every other weekend. What should I do? Do I have to keep doing all the driving, or can I say no until he fixes his car troubles?
Given your current situation, you might ask for a modification of the court order to solve the transportation issue. Keep a record of the ongoing auto issues and the added workload for yourself. Speak with a family law attorney about your alternatives, including compelling the father to provide dependable transportation or modifying the visitation schedule.
It’s not fair that you have to do all the driving, especially since you’re pregnant. Here are some things you can do:
Talk to your ex: See if you can agree on a new place to meet halfway between your homes, even if it means he has to visit for a bit less time.
Look for other options: Maybe your ex can use public transportation, a taxi, or ask someone else for a ride until his car is fixed.
Change the agreement: If the current plan isn’t working, talk to your ex about changing it. Maybe he can visit more often during the week when it’s easier for him to travel.
Legal help (if talking doesn’t work): You could try mediation. A mediator can help you both find a solution. If that doesn’t work, you might need to go to court. A judge can decide on changes to the custody agreement, but they’ll look at whether your ex tried other ways to get around and why he didn’t fix his car.