I share joint legal and physical custody of my 5-year-old with my ex. We have 50/50 custody and last year I told my ex about my plans to take our child on vacation. He asked where we were going, but I didn’t know yet. Now, I reminded him about it, and he’s saying he never approved. It’s technically his time for one of the nights. I told him we’ve had plans since last year, and I won’t let him ruin it. When we’ve taken our child on vacation during his time before, he never ‘approved’ it but never said no either. What can I do?
Ugh, that’s frustrating. It sounds like you’ve been taking vacations like this for a while, and he never made a big deal about it. I’d say you have a strong case to continue with your plans. Maybe remind him about the pattern?
@Ansel
Exactly! It feels like he’s just being difficult now. I’ll remind him of the past vacations and the plans we’ve had since last year.
Yeah, that sounds like it’s been a recurring thing. If you both have vacation time, and there’s no specific rule about needing approval, I think you’re in the clear. Just make sure to follow the rules in your court agreement if there are any about notifying him.
@Aileen
Good point! There’s no formal rule, so I’m pretty sure I’m good. Thanks for the advice!
If your court agreement gives you two weeks of vacation time and there’s no clause about needing approval, then it sounds like you can take the vacation without worrying about him objecting. You’ve already given him notice too, so you’ve done your part.
@Claudia
Yes! I think he’s just trying to cause trouble, but it looks like I’m following all the rules. Appreciate it!
It sounds like you’ve got a good case. If there’s any doubt, just remind him that you’ve been clear about your plans since last year. Plus, if there was no official approval needed before, then I don’t think he can stop it now.
@Molly
Thanks, that helps a lot! I’ll definitely bring up the timing and our previous vacations.
I’d say go ahead with the vacation! If he didn’t formally object in the past, there’s no reason he can stop it now. Just be sure you follow any rules about notice if they’re in your agreement.
Hollis said:
I’d say go ahead with the vacation! If he didn’t formally object in the past, there’s no reason he can stop it now. Just be sure you follow any rules about notice if they’re in your agreement.
Got it, I’ll make sure I’m doing everything by the book. Thanks!