I currently have an Order of Protection against my ex-partner, covering myself and our children. We have an unsupervised visitation order in place, requiring safe exchanges at the local police department on bi-weekly weekends for both pick-up and drop-off. However, the order does not specify who must do the exchange.
Due to my busy schedule as a full-time mom, worker, and student, it can be difficult to bring my son myself. While I usually manage, there are times when I can’t due to scheduling conflicts or emergencies.
My ex has made this a significant issue, being inflexible and filing police reports about my absence during exchanges. He accuses me of violating the order, even though it doesn’t specify that only parents must do the exchanges. He claims that my absence is not in the best interest of our son.
I’m struggling to handle this situation, as my ex is uncompromising
Please ensure you bring the police reports to the hearings regarding the violations. It would not be in his best interest to insist on your presence at the exchanges. A judge may interpret it as third-party contact since filing the report could be viewed as a form of communication with you.
Keep safeguarding yourself and your mental health. He wants you to violate your protection order, but his focus should be on seeing his child, not on creating drama. His goal is to cause you distress during exchanges. Stick to your attorney’s advice; the protection order exists for a reason. If you don’t feel safe, don’t go against it. Remember, there’s nothing more painful for someone who has hurt you than being denied access to your energy. He’s struggling with that now.
Gather the police reports and present them at trial, making sure to express that you feel unsafe. He cannot control the terms of exchanges unless it’s explicitly stated in the order. A judge will easily see through his tactics. My ex tried this as a way to gain any advantage before trial, but it ended up backfiring on him.
I’m surprised a third party wasn’t assigned to take care of your part in the transportation. You can have anyone known to your child handle it, as it states that it’s for parents only.