I (38F) am in the beginning/middle stages of a divorce from my husband (43M). He filed in October after I discovered years of infidelity in September and asked him to leave our home. We have two young kids who live with me, and he moved in with his parents about 30 minutes away. He’s dealing with some mental health issues, which is why I’ve tried to be understanding and give him space to go to therapy and work on his recovery. At first, he didn’t see the kids at all because he was busy with work and coaching football. He has been really manipulative, untruthful, and has made a lot of wild statements about me, like not being honest about where he’s living and claiming I changed the locks on the house. Since then, we’ve worked on a parenting plan and prioritized the kids. He sees them during the week at my house and every other weekend. He can’t have overnights at his parents’ because there isn’t a clean sleeping space for the kids. I include him in family events and even hosted Christmas for his family. Things get tense when we have to deal with divorce issues like finances, but we’ve been relatively amicable overall.
I took the kids out of state for a family vacation over Christmas. When I returned, it was his weekend with the kids, and things were rocky because of a few issues—he fed them fast food for every meal, our older child had an unusual accident, and he left our youngest with his parents while he took our oldest to therapy. His parents haven’t been allowed to babysit because of serious safety concerns in the past, like driving without a car seat. This weekend, I let him stay at the house for an overnight with the kids while I celebrated my birthday at a hotel. I thought everything went well, but today around noon, CPS showed up with a long list of wild accusations. I tried to be cooperative, but my kids woke up sick, and I was just trying to keep things calm for them.
The accusations included that I’m paranoid around the kids, that they don’t feel safe, that I don’t let them leave the house, and that I leave them unattended with men. They claimed I act incoherent and am on drugs, and that I’m bipolar and off my medication. None of this is true. I don’t have bipolar disorder, I don’t do drugs, and my kids have a full schedule with school and activities. We even went to Disney and Texas recently. I agreed to a drug screening but dropped the swab because my hands were shaking. The workers said my caseworker would contact me tomorrow. I signed a medical release for my therapist to verify I’m not bipolar.
My husband has always said I’m a great mom, and I suspect the complaint came from him or his parents. I don’t understand how these wild allegations would help him. I called my lawyer, but she hasn’t returned my call yet. I’m worried I won’t hear from her before my caseworker calls, and I want to be cooperative without jeopardizing my case or my kids’ safety.
What do I need to know before I speak with the caseworker? How can I ensure that the person who made these false allegations has no more access to me or my kids?