I have a retainer already and have not been served. I only know because I happened to look up our old docket while doing taxes and saw he filed two days prior. However, I told my lawyer not to do any hourly work until I am served. I’m going to try to make this as quick as I can because family court is long and detailed. My daughter is currently five years old and has lived with me in my residence and full care since birth. She does not know her father and when brought up refers to him by first name but probably could not pick him out of a crowd. Her father has been in prison for almost her entire life, with the exception of a few months in between sentences a couple of times, all for domestic violence, and he has different victims. The last incident was severe enough that she needed two facial surgeries. In November 2023, while incarcerated, he filed for paternity which I did not contest. During that hearing, the judge may have said less than one sentence about future planning for visits. He was incarcerated and had more time to go. The order stated, ‘parents are to agree on visitation with the noncustodial parent in the best interest of the child.’ Since his release, I have been blocked on my cell phone, text messages, and all emails regarding child support have been ignored. There is no support order in place. I have records of over 40 calls in the last few months with zero incoming texts or calls. The only communication has been on WhatsApp and there is no instance he can show the court where he attempted to plan to see our child. He has come to the area four times without notifying me until after the fact. I’ve been notified that he filed contempt for our visitation order, claiming I have kept his daughter from him during ‘every attempt he has made to see her.’ One date is listed, 12/25, which I can prove I had no calls or conversations with him about seeing our child. I allowed a few FaceTime calls but ended those when my daughter said he showed her a naked painting and that it was weird. I wouldn’t allow him to see her anyway due to his felony violence and living with a woman involved with CPS for abusing her son. I am not in contempt and I feel that is obvious to anyone. There was a restraining order in place for five years up to 2027, which I ended in 2023 when I planned to move for a better job. I felt my daughter was safe to have communication while at a distance. I’m a nurse and a single mother of two with zero help and I don’t want to waste this $5000 retainer or hours worked if I can prove this by myself.
In this case, I would file for a stringent step-up plan and serve him. Create a framework to build a safe relationship for your daughter. Ask that before supervised visitation starts, he pass drug and alcohol tests, get visitation signed off by his parole officer, and have no open protective orders or active warrants. Plus, the girlfriend involved with CPS should not be around during visits. He should pay for state visitation supervision and show evidence of parenting classes.
You need to protect your child now. Don’t wait for him to serve you. You have enough info to stop future actions and lock down access.
This man is a danger. Only communicate through your attorney. Give her all your evidence. Get a court-monitored app for communication and block him on your phone.
Ask for supervised visitation at a center, anger management classes, parenting classes, and drug testing.
Keep the attorney and leave all communication through her. Why have you called him 40 times? You don’t need to set up child support. If you want it, go through the state agency. This man is dangerous, so all contact should be through your lawyer.
Keep your attorney. The money is worth it to have a buffer between you and him. It’s easy to get lost in the details and hurt your own case.
You are not at risk for being found in contempt since there’s no order in place. Focus on ensuring your daughter’s safety and getting a solid future visitation schedule.
Gather all your information. Make three copies. He can file all he wants, but there is no court order to be in contempt of. When you go to court, bring up child support and ask for monitored visits.
If he was granted parenting time now, he would need to go to reunification therapy and pay for it. You have a strong argument against him seeing your child based on his history.
Bring three copies of everything to court. Request parenting classes, anger management classes, and therapy before he sees the child.
Make sure supervised visitation is with someone who does that for a job and use a communication app for all messages. It’s crucial for your situation.