Ex filing contempt for visitation without clear parenting plan or orders... Need advice!

Custody and Visitation Forum
1

Edit** I have a retainer already and have not been served. I only know because I legitimately happened to look up our old docket while doing taxes and saw he filed two days prior. However I told her not to do any hourly work until I am served**

Voice texting so sorry for any misspelling

I’m going to try to make this as quick as it can be as we all know family court is long and detailed…

Daughter is currently five years old and has lived with me in my residence and my full care since birth. Does not know father and when brought up in rare instances by me refers to him as first name however probably could not pick him out of a crowd. Father has been in prison for almost entirety of her life, with the exception of a few months in between sentences a couple of times. All for DV- convicted and all different victims. The last being so severe she needed two facial surgeries.

In November 2023 while incarcerated he filed paternity which I did not contest. During that hearing, the judge may have uttered less than one sentence about the future and eventually planning visits. Again, he was incarcerated with more time to go.
The order that came out of that stated “parents are to agree on visitation with noncustodial parent in best interest of child”.

Father was released in February 2023, sent back a few months later for parole violation involving violent interaction with victim. Re released this past October on parole/probation. Moved three hours away with no address or info given to me or court.

Since his release, I have been blocked on my cell phone, text messages, and all emails sent regarding child support have been ignored. Worth noting no support order in place. I have records of all of this including over 40 calls in the span of the last few months with 0 incoming texts emails or calls. The only communication we have had is on WhatsApp and there is no instance he can show the court where he asked, or attempted to, plan to see our child.

He has come to the area four times all of which I was not told until after the fact by other parties involved with him that saw him.

I’ve been notified that he filed contempt for our visitation order, and that I have kept his daughter from him during “every attempt he has made to see her”. One date is listed, and it’s 12/25 which again I can prove that I had zero calls text or emails or conversations with him before or during that day about seeing child or otherwise.

There have been a few FaceTime calls allowed by me and I ended those when my daughter stated he showed her a “naked painting of a lady and it was weird”. She actually told him she did not like it.

A whole separate issue from this post and my question, which is the fact that I wouldn’t allow him to see her anyways due to his felony violence and cohabiting with a woman who is involved with CPS for abusing her five-year-old son—- I am not in contempt and I feel that is completely obvious to anyone.

There was a restraining order in place for the duration of 5 years up to 2027 which I naively ended in 2023 when I had plans to move out of state for better nursing job and lower cost of living. The reason for termination of order stated I felt Evie was safe to have communication while distance.

I’m a nurse and a single mother of two with zero help and I don’t wanna waste this $5000 retainer or hours worked if I can prove this by myself.

2

You have basically no visitation order but why are you harassing him about child support when you have no order for it? His filing will be dismissed same as he has dismissed you asking for chi,d support

3

I don’t think you are at risk for being found in contempt. As you say the order states that you have to agree for the best interests of the child.

What I think you are at significant risk for is a future visitation schedules. Even if only remote, or supervised. I highly recommend a lawyer to ensure the child’s best interests are upheld. Also put him on court ordered child support. You may not get anything initially but it will catch up to him eventually.

4

Just a note - it does seem contradictory to say he made no effort to contact for visits or fully blocked you but that there were FaceTime calls until you (understandably!) ended it. It might be my reading comprehension or just the issue with trying to type up a post covering years of life, but it might be good to list out specifically every time he did get contact, who initiated it and why it may not have been allowed if you had to say no so that it is all clear and laid out. I have more practical experience with SS disability work but judges in that area loved clear lists/timelines when backed up with evidence. Made life a lot easier. Your attorney will probably appreciate it too.

5

@Campbell
One of the issues is this. I remain blocked on every form of contact and when mentioned in the past he states his daughter can still reach him. She has an iPad which had FaceTime connected to her Apple ID. A five year old cannot reasonably make a schedule or agreement regarding a parenting plan or any co-parenting discussions.

I initiated these calls, which again records can show

How can I be in contempt of visitation orders that A. Don’t exist when B. I cannot even communicate with the other parent?

6

Gather all information. Like the other commenter said, make 3 copies. He can file all he wants, but there is no court order to be in contempt of. When you are in court bring up child support. Ask for monitored visits. If he wants access to the child, he can pay a monitor to do so.

7

There is no specific court order to be in contempt of. If he was granted some parenting time now, he and your child would need to go to reunification therapy that he pays for along with individual therapy for both (that he also pays for). I think that there is a decent argument for your child not to see him at all based on his criminal history of violence. Do not fire your attorney, they know the system in your jurisdiction and if he gets an attorney you are not in a position to represent yourself.

8

@Suki
Thank you!!!

9

Bring print out 3 copies of everything proving such. The judge will probably be annoyed at your ex for wasting the courts time and lying. I would also request for him to take parenting classes, anger management classes, and see a therapist until seeing the child. I would also file for child support

10

@Uliana
And SUPERVISED visitation, preferably with a supervisor who does that as a job. And Talking Parents or sim app for any and all communication. My kids biological dad is in the penitentiary for DV.