My husband’s ex is on some kind of power trip and just sent him a new custody agreement to sign. Basically, she’s demanding full physical and legal custody, and he’ll only get visits if and when she decides. Yes, she actually wrote that.
She told him he has two choices:
Sign it, and ‘this will all be over quickly.’
Refuse to sign, and she will press charges against him for ‘abusing their children.’
For the record, my husband has never hurt his kids. She already tried this in court before, and the judge threw it out immediately because there was no evidence. The kids are happy, loved, and well taken care of at our house.
She also says she’ll press ‘harassment and stalking’ charges against me because I dropped off my stepson’s school bag at her house one time. He forgot it at our place, and since her house is on my way to work (my husband’s job is in the opposite direction), I figured it was easier if I took it. She lives an hour away, so this isn’t just a quick drop-off.
My husband is meeting with a lawyer later this week, so that’s already in motion. But in the meantime, should he respond to her or just ignore her? Does this count as a threat?
@Sage
No real lawyer would handle it this way. If she actually had legal representation, they would’ve either filed a modification request or tried to negotiate properly.
A real attorney would have drafted the paperwork themselves and had it served officially.
@Jin
Just noticed another hilarious part—she’s threatening to take us to court in a completely different county, not where she lives. Our guess is she’s hoping it’ll somehow hide her own arrest record.
Now that she sees we’re not freaking out, she just texted, ‘If you sign, I’ll take you off child support too.’
@Sage
She can’t just ‘take him off’ child support. She could ask for it to be changed, but that’s up to the court, not her. Honestly, I doubt she has a lawyer because no attorney would tell her to give up child support while demanding full custody.
Document EVERYTHING. No more phone calls—only communicate through text or email. Don’t go to her house again. If something needs to be dropped off, take it to the school or wait until the next visit.
She’s trying to scare you both into signing. Don’t sign anything. Let the lawyer handle everything. There are parenting apps specifically for communication—ask the lawyer about using one.
And whatever you do, don’t talk about her in front of the kids. Keep them out of it. I’d also ask the lawyer if they can send her a formal letter telling her to knock off the threats.
@hazela
Good advice! I think she’s realizing she messed up because she just texted my husband, ‘I’m not trying to pressure you or force a decision, but if you don’t sign in the next 24 hours, I’ll be going to the courthouse to set a trial date. Don’t even try mediation—I’m not open to compromise.’
Ella said:
If she put all this in text or email, your lawyer is going to love it.
Seriously, this is gold. She’s basically proving she’s unstable.
Oh, trust me, my husband is planning to use this as part of a custody modification. She’s been a mess for the last two years—arrests, moving multiple times, always late for pickups, terrible school attendance when she has the kids… the list goes on.
@Sage
I have full custody of my kid, and I can tell you that getting there takes solid proof. My ex had a long history of drug and alcohol abuse, plus documented incidents from former employers. Courts don’t just hand over full custody unless there’s a serious pattern.
@Effie
Yeah, full custody isn’t necessarily the goal—more like flipping the custody arrangement so my husband has them the majority of the time. Right now, she has them 60% of the time, and we want to change that so he’s the primary parent. He still wants them to have a relationship with their mom, but it needs to be on better terms.
