In 2014, I was awarded sole custody of my son in BC courts. Along with this order came a protective order, restricting his father’s contact with us. It was ordered because of his mental health issues, his repeated violations of temporary orders, and threats of (and actual) violence from him to me and others. It is (I quote) ‘in effect until varied by further court order.’ It has not been varied, so it is still in effect. He was allowed access as long as he utilized a paid supervision agency, which he hasn’t done since 2018. The order was clear that all access was up to him. This morning, his father violated the protection order by contacting me through FB messenger. He believes that because our son will be 18 soon, he can see him whenever he wants. The police in my jurisdiction have told me there’s not much they can do and insinuated that because I have PTSD, I’m making more of this than I should. They also believe that because our son turns 18 soon, he won’t be covered by the protection order. I’m feeling vaguely victimized by a system that is supposed to protect me, and I’m wondering if what they said about my son’s age is true.
I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this. The protective order should still be in effect regardless of your son’s age unless it’s been varied by a court. Have you thought about consulting a legal professional for more clarity?
In many cases, protective orders remain in effect until officially changed by the court. Just because your son turns 18 doesn’t automatically nullify the order. It might be worth documenting the contact and seeking legal advice to reinforce your position.
It sounds really frustrating. The police should take your concerns seriously, especially given the context of past violence. Have you considered reaching out to a domestic violence organization for support?
@Kendall
I haven’t yet, but that’s a good idea. I need to find someone who understands these situations better.
It’s frustrating when the system doesn’t seem to support you. You deserve to feel safe and protected. Keep pushing for your rights and consider finding a lawyer who specializes in family law.
Harper said:
It’s frustrating when the system doesn’t seem to support you. You deserve to feel safe and protected. Keep pushing for your rights and consider finding a lawyer who specializes in family law.
Thank you, I think I will look into that. I need to ensure I’m protected.
Your feelings are valid, and it’s important to advocate for yourself. Document any further contact from him, and don’t hesitate to reach out to legal resources for assistance. You are not alone in this.