Hey everyone… my story is pretty long, but I’ll try to keep it short. My ex and I broke up a year ago and we’ve never been to court for custody or anything. We are married and in the process of getting a divorce, but since he hasn’t been served papers yet, we need to handle child support and custody first in Family Court. This past year has been really tough. He has anger issues and severe bipolar disorder. He was even hospitalized for two weeks last summer because he thought he was talking to God. He doesn’t take his medication properly, and it’s hard to predict when the next episode will happen. I’ve tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but two weekends ago my son called me on his iPad. My ex snatched it away and started screaming at me. He then wouldn’t let me speak to our son for 24 hours, and I finally got him back the following Sunday. My son, who is 6, was really scared of him after that and doesn’t want anything to do with him. I filed for a temporary Order of Protection the following Tuesday and got a full stay-away order and a partial one for my son. The next day, I filed for full custody and child support. I’ve always been the primary caretaker of our son, and he doesn’t contribute much. He doesn’t show up for school activities or help with after-school care. I take our son to the doctor alone most of the time, and he doesn’t seem interested in updates. The courts, sheriff, and a social worker have all advised me to keep my son with me for his safety because they’re worried he might get hurt in his father’s care. I’m okay with this arrangement and have told my ex about it. Our next court date is at the end of March, and since last week, he’s gone silent. I’ve been updating him on our son every day to show the courts I’m trying to allow a relationship, but he just ignores my messages. My main question is; for the next court date that discusses a permanent order of protection and custody, what do you think his odds are? The Order of Protection is under the domestic violence section of family court, and I have recordings of him screaming, text messages showing how he talks to me, and I’ve documented that our son is scared of him. I really can’t imagine a judge granting him anything except supervised visitations since he hasn’t responded to anything. This whole situation is just so overwhelming, and it breaks my heart to see my son scared of his own father.
If he responds and shows up, definitely ask for supervised visits. Keep documenting everything. Not communicating, going dark, and scaring your son are all important. You need a solid paper trail to protect your son.
Your son might need a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) to advocate for him in court. It can really help to have someone looking out for his needs.
Has he responded to the petition yet? What does he want out of this?
If he doesn’t respond or show up for the court date, generally, the judge will give you what you ask for. It sounds like you have a strong case.
It’s understandable to feel nervous. Just keep documenting everything and focus on what’s best for your son. You’re doing the right thing by trying to keep him safe.