My mom had a stroke, and her mental state hasn’t been the same since. She just moved into a new house with her boyfriend two days ago, but now he’s texting me saying that she’s too much for him to take care of. He says he’s going to drop her off at my apartment today, or if I don’t take her, he’ll leave her at her old house, which is empty since she just moved all her stuff out.
I don’t have the space or money to take care of her, and my brothers are both in college, so they can’t help either. What are my options here?
You should contact Adult Protective Services (APS) right away. If your mom can’t care for herself and her boyfriend is abandoning her, this could be considered elder neglect. APS can investigate and may help you find temporary care for her. They’ll also guide you to other resources for her long-term care.
If your mom doesn’t already have a Power of Attorney, you may need to consider becoming her legal guardian so you can make decisions on her behalf. It’s a process, but if she can’t manage her own affairs anymore, it might be necessary.
Also, look into Medicaid options and state-run care for long-term living facilities. With your mom’s condition, she could qualify for help, especially if she can’t be left alone. You might also want to consult an elder law attorney to help with all the legal steps and to protect her financially.
Is your mom on the title of the house? Find out what’s really going on with the boyfriend. Did they have a fight? Or does he not want to take care of her because of her physical or mental health? Does she have any financial resources or is she on disability? There’s a lot of missing information here that could affect your options.
This could be financial elder abuse if he used her money to buy a house and then kicked her out. Contact Adult Protective Services, and also reach out to your local Area Agency on Aging. They can help you with finding resources and possible care options for your mom. Good luck!
You may need to be appointed as your mom’s legal guardian. It might be necessary to sell both houses and use the money to get her into a facility that can care for her.
Start by consulting an elder law attorney, and get in touch with the hospital social worker where she was treated for her stroke. When was her stroke? Did she have the capacity to even agree to buying a house?
@Merlin
If her boyfriend is on the deed to the house, and he doesn’t agree to sell it, it could take a long time to resolve. You might need to take legal action, and it could drag on for years.
Can you clarify what exactly you’re asking? Are you trying to figure out how to care for your mom using her money, or are you looking for low-cost care options through an agency? Or are you asking about how to get her back into the house she owns with her boyfriend?
@EricOrtiz
So many questions, but one thing’s for sure: you need to sell the house or negotiate with her boyfriend for a buyout of her share. Use the money to pay for her care, and get a lawyer involved right away.