Here’s some background: my ex and I never went to court about custody or anything else. But recently, my kids always come back with new marks, and there’s always yelling and fighting. One of my ex’s sisters is an alcoholic, and I don’t feel safe when I pick the kids up. So I want to file for emergency custody. I’m reading the guidelines for filing and it says I need to notify my ex by 10 a.m. the day before I file or explain why I didn’t. I’m really scared that he or his whole family will be there waiting for me, and I don’t know what they’d do. He has a history of domestic violence, anger issues since grade school, and there have been multiple CPS investigations into him and his family. Can I file without notifying him and say it’s because I’m afraid for my safety? Will that void the requirement or do I still need to tell him? If I have to notify him, can I ask for a police escort at the courthouse?
Call your local domestic violence shelter for help with this. Make sure to call the police after every visit to document injuries. You should also call child welfare and report any harm. You need to file for emergency sole custody. You should’ve been keeping track of the injuries all along.
In my state, notice is only required if there’s already a custody order in place. If you’re filing for the first time, no notice is needed. Be sure to carefully read the filing instructions and check if notice is still required even for the first time filing. If it is, you have to give notice unless the rules say otherwise.
An emergency custody order needs an immediate threat. Reasonable people might disagree on what counts as ‘immediate,’ but the threat must be real and happening right now. Future dangers don’t count. The child has to be in danger of harm, not just in a bad environment or neglected.
One of my judges often says, ‘bullets or blood.’
Ex-parte orders are for immediate danger. Your children must be in actual danger at the time you file. You can try to file, but it might not get approved. Your ex will have the chance to present his side of the story. Just saying it’s true isn’t enough. After filing, you’ll need to request a change to the parenting plan, or create one if there isn’t one already. It’s a long and costly process, and you may need a lawyer if you can’t handle it yourself.
Ex-parte orders are only for emergencies, so the court might not consider it an emergency if it’s about worrying for your own safety when trying to file.
I’m not really sure what you mean. Is the court unlikely to see it as an emergency just because I’m scared about what might happen when I try to file?
Focus on the safety of your child.