Hey guys, sorry for the long post, but I need some advice and there’s a bit of backstory. So, I’m 34 and my ex-husband is 35. We divorced almost 10 years ago after being together for 5 years. Back then, I packed up everything, took my kids (who were 3 and 1 at the time), grabbed the dog, and moved to my parents’ place. I never went back. I was a stay-at-home mom, and he was a police officer, which is relevant. During our marriage, he was physically, emotionally, financially, and mentally abusive, and I finally realized I had to get out.
After I left, I filed for an order of protection and started the divorce process. Social services told me I wouldn’t get child support if he couldn’t work due to the order, so I dropped it to have some financial support. The divorce dragged on for 3 years, and he took me for everything. I was broke and fighting for my kids in court every month.
I eventually won custody, and he sees the kids every other weekend and some weeks here and there. I’m usually flexible with extra time. Now, my kids are 13 and 11, and they don’t want to see their dad anymore. I found out he’s been making them call their stepmom ‘mom,’ he slapped my daughter for vomiting when she had the flu, and he locks my son in closets and spanks him. My son has emotional and mental health issues, and my ex is even keeping him from taking his medication.
I’ve reported him to DCFS multiple times, but nothing happens because he’s a police officer and manipulates the system. I’ve been terrified of him for 10 years, but finding out about my son’s medication pushed me over the edge.
I’ve built a stable and successful life for my family. We live in a great home, my kids go to fantastic schools, and my current husband and I make good money. I attend all school meetings and support my son’s needs. My ex, on the other hand, lives in a trailer in a rural town 1.5 hours away, never attends the kids’ events, pays minimal child support, and often skips his weekends with them.
I want to get full custody because my kids are too scared to tell me everything that’s happening and they don’t want to face him to say they don’t want to see him anymore. This situation is breaking me. Any advice on how to get full custody?