I’m a father living in Washington state, and my kids moved to Hawaii with their mom about a year ago. We were never married, and there’s no custody agreement in place. Lately, she’s been refusing to let me see or talk to the kids and won’t answer her phone. I want to file for custody or at least visitation rights, but I’m not sure where to start. Any advice on what to do next or what I need to show the court?
Since there’s no custody agreement, you’ll need to file a petition for custody in Hawaii since that’s where the kids live. Have you looked into that yet?
Lila said:
Since there’s no custody agreement, you’ll need to file a petition for custody in Hawaii since that’s where the kids live. Have you looked into that yet?
Not yet, but I guess that’s my first step. Is it complicated to file in another state?
@Dar
It can be tricky, but you can get a local attorney in Hawaii to help. They’ll know the state-specific rules.
What’s your plan? Are you looking for full custody, shared custody, or just visitation rights?
Margaret said:
What’s your plan? Are you looking for full custody, shared custody, or just visitation rights?
Ideally, I want full custody because I’m really concerned about their well-being, but I’d settle for visitation for now.
@Dar
If you’re going for full custody, you’ll need to prove the kids are better off with you. Courts look at stability, finances, school, etc.
Is the mom able to provide a stable environment for the kids? That’s usually a big factor in custody cases.
Kehlani said:
Is the mom able to provide a stable environment for the kids? That’s usually a big factor in custody cases.
Not really. She moves around a lot, doesn’t have a stable job, and I think that’s not great for the kids.
@Dar
That’s something you’ll want to bring up in court. Document everything you can to show instability.
Have you thought about mediation before jumping to court? Sometimes that works better when there’s no formal agreement yet.
Ezri said:
Have you thought about mediation before jumping to court? Sometimes that works better when there’s no formal agreement yet.
I’m open to it, but she’s not answering calls or messages. Makes it hard to even try.
@Dar
That’s tough. If she’s unresponsive, filing might be your only option to get her to engage.
You mentioned no custody agreement. Does that mean you don’t have any legal custody or visitation rights yet?
Flynn said:
You mentioned no custody agreement. Does that mean you don’t have any legal custody or visitation rights yet?
Exactly. She has full control right now, and I feel stuck.
Flynn said:
You mentioned no custody agreement. Does that mean you don’t have any legal custody or visitation rights yet?
Exactly. She has full control right now, and I feel stuck.
Then filing for custody is definitely the right move. Courts will at least set up visitation if nothing else.