I have a really tough ex. I emailed him months ago about our holiday plans. After a few reminders, he finally replied and said I could book the flights. Here’s how it went:
Me: “I need a response to my email about Thailand so I can book flights when the prices are good. Can you reply by the weekend? It’s just a simple answer. Thanks.”
Him: “I’ll respond in writing. You can book the flights. All good.”
He often uses child arrangements to mess with me, cancelling last minute or saying he won’t have the kids unless I do what he wants. I went ahead and booked the flights based on his WhatsApp message, even though he didn’t reply to my email.
Now I’m worried he might try to sabotage this trip. If I get asked for proof of his consent at the airport, will this WhatsApp chat be enough? What else should I do to make sure the holiday goes smoothly? I want to avoid any disruptions from him. I plan to keep quiet about it for a while and just hope to enjoy the trip without issues.
I’m British, and the kids have double-barrel surnames, so I share part of their surname. Does that matter? Any advice or suggestions?
I’ve traveled internationally many times with my son, even with his stepmom once. We always had notarized permission just in case, but nobody ever asked for it. Statistically, you might not get asked, but I wouldn’t risk it. I’d be worried about being stopped during a layover or on the way back.
An email doesn’t count as legal consent for travel. You need a notarized letter that includes travel details, hotel contacts, and dates. All guardians must sign it and have it notarized.
It’s a bit of a gamble. I’ve traveled internationally with an infant and nobody asked questions. But Thailand isn’t part of the Hague Convention, which might mean more scrutiny. It could be worth talking to a lawyer about getting a parenting plan that requires notice for international travel.
My parents sometimes took my son on vacation and I always signed something for emergencies and to allow travel. My mom was very cautious about this stuff and said to keep a copy of his birth certificate handy. Hopefully, you have your kids’ passports sorted.
I took my kids to Borneo and Hong Kong without getting written consent. My ex was a total jerk too, but I just told him we were going, and he didn’t mind. I was the primary caregiver, so I felt it was my call. When he took them abroad, I never caused issues.
If you share decision-making, you need a notarized letter from him giving consent. You won’t be allowed to board the plane without it. Also, does your child have a passport? You might need his consent for that as well.