I’m 17 and have had to live with my parents 50/50 since they are divorced. I was never given a chance to give my preference when the custody order was being processed officially maybe a few years ago, but I constantly see people saying that 12-13 year olds are giving their preferences to a judge. I think it is unfair that I was not able to and had to live by some bad arrangement. If my mother calls the police for me not going with her, will my father get in trouble? Will I get in trouble?
Police won’t get involved. They usually won’t enforce custody orders for older teens like you.
When do you turn 18? What does your dad think? If you were to defy the court order, your mom might call the police. Most of the time they will ask you to go to your mom’s house and if you refuse, they’ll just say it’s a civil matter. It’s unlikely they’ll force you to go. Your mom could consider filing for contempt, but that’s not very common.
@Beatrice
I turn 18 in a few months. I really just want to stay with my dad full-time if possible.
This might be the arrangement that both parents prefer. If there’s no dispute, they might not consider your input. You’re almost 18, but you should talk to your dad about living with him full-time.
I know someone who filed to change custody at 15. It was a bit of a process, but the judge asked her who she wanted to live with, and it was clear she wanted her dad. Maybe you could look into that if you want to pursue it.
If you’re 17, just wait until you’re 18, then pack your stuff at your mom’s and get out. You could start bringing things over to your dad’s little by little so it’s not obvious. By your 18th birthday, everything should be there, and your mom probably won’t notice.
This is the way.
At 17, most judges will consider your preference. You could ask your dad to call and check what options you have.
If you want to change the arrangement, your dad can petition the court for that. It might help to have a plan ready.
You won’t be in legal trouble, but your dad might be if your mom pushes it. If you refuse to go, no one will physically force you. It might be good to talk to your dad and figure out a plan together.
Just focus on doing well in school and stay out of trouble. If you need to explain to a judge why you want to live with your dad, make sure to present yourself well. They usually want to see you thriving.
You could try writing a letter to your judge explaining your situation. It might help.
Very few police will enforce a custody order on a teen. You can just refuse to go if it comes to that.
At your age, your mother might not be able to bring this in front of a judge before your 18th birthday. The police will likely say it’s a civil matter and not intervene. But you might want to talk to your dad about how to approach your mom.
If your parent calls the police to enforce custody, they will check if you’re okay and ask if you want to go with your mom. If you refuse, they usually won’t take you. It’s important to know your rights.
If you want to reduce or eliminate visitation, talk to your dad about consulting with his attorney. This might be a good time to make a plan.
Have you talked to your parents about changing the custody arrangement? It might help to have an open conversation.
Every state is different regarding custody. At your age, your preferences should be considered. Talk to your dad and figure out a plan.