Hey guys, I’m really nervous about the upcoming visit with the non-custodial parent (NCP). My child is 9 and has Level 1 autism. This will be the first visit since 2021, and I just went through mediation where he was awarded two visits. He skipped the first one because of some scheduling conflicts. Now he wants to take our child for the whole day and bring her back at night. In mediation, we talked about how it would be best for both parents to be present during the visit for comfort, which is also what her therapist recommended. I’m wondering if it would be wrong to bring this up to him since it’s not explicitly stated in the order. Plus, this is supposed to be a step-up plan, and he hasn’t even utilized his visitation rights yet. The order just says he’ll visit during Christmas break. Any thoughts?
Bummer… you should definitely tell him that if he’s not okay with both parents being there, then he can skip this visit. If you let him slide this time, he might keep trying to push boundaries, and you’ll lose credibility.
@Baylee
Thanks for the advice, that makes sense. I don’t want to set a precedent that he can just do whatever.
Did you agree on this in mediation, or was it more of a no-agreement situation? It sounds like if mediation didn’t end in a formal agreement, then what was discussed might not count.
Zyan said:
Did you agree on this in mediation, or was it more of a no-agreement situation? It sounds like if mediation didn’t end in a formal agreement, then what was discussed might not count.
It was part of the mediation. The mediator seemed to really support my side because it was clear he wasn’t truly interested in our child.
You need clarity in this agreement. You can’t deny him visitation if it’s not in the order. Have a talk with him, keep it honest, and try to leave judgment out of it.
Zyan said:
You need clarity in this agreement. You can’t deny him visitation if it’s not in the order. Have a talk with him, keep it honest, and try to leave judgment out of it.
That’s a good point. I’ll try to approach it that way, but I’m still worried about how he’ll react.
Honestly, this sounds like a tricky situation. With kids on the spectrum, they thrive on routine, and taking her out for a whole day might be too much after not seeing him for so long. What do you think his real intentions are?
@daisytallisman
Yeah, she’s been really anxious about this visit. My husband was about to file for termination of parental rights, and as soon as the NCP found out, he filed to modify custody. It feels a bit performative to me.
You can definitely mention what the therapist suggested, but remember he only has to follow what’s in the order. It might be better to take the therapist’s recommendations to the judge and see if you can modify the visitation plans.
@Bailey
That sounds like a solid plan. I’m just trying to keep my daughter’s well-being in mind through all of this.