Hi there, long story short, my ex husband is constantly interfering with my parenting time and I am not sure what to do at this point. It wouldn’t be a problem if he wasn’t extremely emotionally and verbally abusive (he and I do NOT have a coparenting relationship unfortunately); We have a history of domestic violence and abuse, so I try to stay away from him as much as possible for my mental health. However since the custody & visitation order has been entered back in freakin 2020, he has consistently showed up at “public” events that I take my kids to. Not only is he there, he usually interacts with my kids while openly negatively talking about me to them, he separates the kids from me to spend time with him away from me, or sit where he is sitting away from me, etc. during my parenting time. Our custody order states he’s not to interfere with my parenting time without my prior consent, but His response is that “he doesn’t care, because he’s going to be there at every event, he’s THAT dad, a present dad, etc” and states that since it’s a public place (like a park, their school, etc.) there’s nothing I can do about it. All the while he’s being controlling and aggressive by forcing us to accept his presence and everything he comes with. Because it’s a “public” place…… He doesn’t respect my boundaries or the order, and his aggression and control is affecting my mental health (he is an extremely narcissistic alcoholic that doesn’t stop at any moment, so dealing with him at this level all these years has played a number on my brain). I am not sure what I can do at this point……. I literally just don’t want him there all the time. He’s aggressive and disrespectful toward me in front of the kids and I would rather he just not always show up on my days, that’s it. Literally just stick to his days. Can someone please let me know if there is any hope in a situation like mine, or point me in the right direction of someone I can speak to? Thank youuuuu 
That sounds really tough. Have you talked to a lawyer about enforcing the custody order?
Octavia said:
That sounds really tough. Have you talked to a lawyer about enforcing the custody order?
Yes, I was about to suggest the same. A lawyer might help you get a restraining order or something similar.
Octavia said:
That sounds really tough. Have you talked to a lawyer about enforcing the custody order?
Restraining order can be a strong option especially since there’s a history of abuse.
@Raegan
I haven’t yet, but I think I should look into that. The situation has been exhausting.
@Raegan
Definitely look into legal options. You shouldn’t have to deal with that kind of stress.
Maybe try documenting every time he shows up during your time with the kids?
Montana said:
Maybe try documenting every time he shows up during your time with the kids?
Good idea. That could be useful in court to show a pattern of behavior.
Montana said:
Maybe try documenting every time he shows up during your time with the kids?
Good idea. That could be useful in court to show a pattern of behavior.
I have been trying to keep records, but it’s hard to manage everything alone.
Montana said:
Maybe try documenting every time he shows up during your time with the kids?
Good idea. That could be useful in court to show a pattern of behavior.
I know it’s tough, but documentation could really help your case.
Montana said:
Maybe try documenting every time he shows up during your time with the kids?
Maybe even take pictures or videos for evidence?
Montana said:
Maybe try documenting every time he shows up during your time with the kids?
Maybe even take pictures or videos for evidence?
I’ve taken a few, but it feels invasive. I’m worried it might escalate things.
Montana said:
Maybe try documenting every time he shows up during your time with the kids?
Maybe even take pictures or videos for evidence?
Safety first. Only do what you feel is safe.
Have you considered talking to a therapist for your own mental health?
Ivy said:
Have you considered talking to a therapist for your own mental health?
Therapy can really help you cope with the stress and give you strategies to deal with him.
Ivy said:
Have you considered talking to a therapist for your own mental health?
Therapy can really help you cope with the stress and give you strategies to deal with him.
I’ve thought about it, but finding the time and money has been challenging.
Ivy said:
Have you considered talking to a therapist for your own mental health?
Therapy can really help you cope with the stress and give you strategies to deal with him.
Maybe look into sliding scale fees or community resources that offer free or low-cost therapy.
Ivy said:
Have you considered talking to a therapist for your own mental health?
Your mental health is important. It’s worth looking into options that work for you.
Ivy said:
Have you considered talking to a therapist for your own mental health?
Your mental health is important. It’s worth looking into options that work for you.
You’re right. I need to prioritize my well-being for my kids too.
Ivy said:
Have you considered talking to a therapist for your own mental health?
Your mental health is important. It’s worth looking into options that work for you.
Absolutely. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself.