Therapy, 50/50, Final Decision-making & attendance

Custody and Visitation Forum
1

My ex and I share 50/50 legal custody. I was granted final decision-making for education, while they were granted final decision-making for mental health. Recently, my ex decided that my spouse, who has been with me for the past 5 years, is no longer allowed to transport our child to therapy sessions. They’re claiming that their final decision-making authority over mental health allows them to control who transports our child. I feel this is an overreach, as it impacts my parenting time and seems motivated by jealousy rather than our child’s best interest. Sessions are scheduled 2x a month on my time and 2x on theirs. I’ve had no input on the scheduling, and they expect me to adjust my schedule accordingly without any flexibility.

I have no issues with therapy and was the one who initially pushed for it. My concern is that if I’m stuck at work or in traffic, my spouse should be allowed to transport our child to ensure they don’t miss any sessions. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?

2

Ex is being unreasonable, and transport to therapy isn’t a medical decision that falls under their primary authority.

3

You can ignore it. If your spouse needs to transport, let them. Ex can’t enforce this without going to court, and judges typically aren’t sympathetic to such restrictions. Final decision-making doesn’t mean sole decision-making.

4

You two are fighting over unnecessary things, which doesn’t help your child. It’s tough to ignore provocations, but sometimes it’s worth it to keep the peace.

5

Beatrice said:
You two are fighting over unnecessary things, which doesn’t help your child. It’s tough to ignore provocations, but sometimes it’s worth it to keep the peace.

I agree and often let things slide. But this feels particularly unfair. My main concern is ensuring my child can attend therapy if I can’t make it due to work or traffic.

6

If your spouse has no negative driving history, I don’t think your ex can legally stop them from transporting the child.

7

Lorin said:
If your spouse has no negative driving history, I don’t think your ex can legally stop them from transporting the child.

No negative history at all. This feels more like a control issue on their part. My spouse rarely transports the children anyway.

8

Ex can’t dictate who brings the child to therapy, only whether the child attends. Continue as you are, and ignore unreasonable demands.

9

Let your ex know that they have decision-making authority for the therapist but not for transportation arrangements during your time. Tell them your spouse will continue with drop-offs when needed. If ex wants to take this to court, a judge will likely prioritize the child’s attendance at therapy over who drives them there.