In 2023, my daughter and I moved across the country. My ex and I had a custody agreement as part of our divorce. Before the move, my daughter often refused to go to her dad’s house. She would get sick in the car, cry the whole way, and sometimes wouldn’t even get out of the car, so visits turned into phone calls for a whole year while we were in the same state. Occasionally, he would come over to sleep at my house. Fast forward to summer of 2004, my daughter accused her father of sexual abuse. I reported it immediately to her therapist, as she had been in therapy for over a year because I knew something wasn’t right. This led to a big investigation, and I cut off all contact with him. Since she came forward, I’ve learned of both physical and sexual abuse. He has messaged a few times asking to talk, but I always say no because she doesn’t want to. We finally saw a judge in October, but my attorney didn’t file the proper paperwork, so now we have to wait until later this month to be seen. My daughter is terrified she’s going to end up with him. She wakes up with nightmares daily. I guess I’m looking for reassurance that there’s no chance he’ll get custody of her. My attorney says he has no shot, but I’m absolutely terrified and anxious. Even mentioning him sends her into a tailspin.
How old is she? I think if a child is refusing visits, the court is likely to consider that, especially if she’s scared.
Given her age, that might work in your favor. What does he want with his filing? Is he asking for visits or more custody?
I think it might be a good idea to request a guardian ad litem or child representative who can represent her feelings in court. It could help a lot.
Honestly, it sounds like you have a strong case due to the accusations. It’s not easy to navigate, but I don’t think he’ll get full custody.
Just to share my experience, my daughter didn’t have to testify in front of her dad. She was in a special room with a child psychologist, and I was right outside. It was a lot less stressful for her.
If he really wants to see her, you can insist on supervised visits. Just be clear that it has to be through the court and not just any random third party.