I’m in a tough situation where the court accepted false claims of abuse against me and my partner, even though my child quickly took back those claims. Instead of looking into why my child changed their story, Child Protective Services (CPS) accused me of manipulating my child. I provided a lot of proof that the accusations were false, but CPS and the court didn’t care.
I’m currently only allowed limited supervised visits with my child, but it feels like this decision was based on wrong information. What makes it worse is that the family court won’t even look at the proof I’ve submitted. They’re telling me I need to act like the claims are true or I could lose my visitation altogether. They even gave me an ultimatum—either leave my partner or risk losing time with my child. This is despite my child’s therapist saying I’m not a risk, and recommending more unsupervised time because our visits have been so positive.
I feel stuck in a situation where I have to admit to something I didn’t do just to keep seeing my child.
What can I do to challenge the court’s refusal to look at the evidence and the therapist’s recommendations? How can I fight a system that seems set on keeping me from having a real relationship with my child?
It feels like there’s some information missing here. Why did CPS or the court give you an ultimatum to leave your partner? Courts don’t usually do that unless they have a good reason to think your partner is a danger to the child.
@Davis
The dependency orders didn’t mention my partner at all. In fact, the orders technically allowed more time with my child, but the therapist’s availability limited it. Now the court has officially reduced my time as the hearings go on. What’s confusing is that the therapist, who the court chose, said I’m not a risk to my child.
There’s no mention of my partner in the dependency orders. The judge is making this an issue without explaining why. It feels like either he trusts the therapist’s evaluation or he doesn’t. If he didn’t trust it, why let me have visits at all?
They seem to think my partner is a threat because the false claims were against him. But I don’t understand why they’re sticking with these lies, even with new evidence showing it’s not true.
@nickeljayz
Did the judge actually say you need to leave your partner? Did your lawyers have any discussions with the judge about this? Have either of you ever had issues with drugs in the past? Trying to understand why the court would be so focused on your partner unless there’s something that makes them believe your partner is a danger.
@Davis
No, drugs aren’t an issue, and my partner has no criminal record. The claims were that I allowed my partner to harm my child, but my child admitted in court that he lied. Despite this, my lawyer didn’t present key evidence, which left me in a bad spot.
The judge didn’t outright tell me to leave my partner, but he’s made it clear that my relationship is a problem. However, nothing is written down saying I have to leave my partner. This feels like it’s all based on the false claims from the dependency hearing.
Davis said: @nickeljayz
What kind of harm was your partner accused of? Was it physical or verbal abuse? How old is your child?
They claimed both physical and sexual abuse, but my child later said none of it happened. The professionals involved found my child’s retraction believable. There’s no evidence to support the claims. My child was 6 at the time of the accusations and is now 8.
Isan said:
Do you have a lawyer? Have there been any hearings like emergency custody or adjudication? Do you have a case plan from the court?
I didn’t have good legal representation. My lawyer didn’t cross-examine key witnesses or present my evidence. The only witness cross-examined was my child, and it was done poorly. After that, my lawyer rushed to close the case, and I didn’t get a fair process.
I appealed the decision, but the court denied it. They wrongly assumed my lawyer had a plan.
Now I’m in family court, but even with new evidence showing parental alienation and the therapist’s letter, the judge seems to be ignoring it.
@nickeljayz
You need to decide between your partner and your child. I know someone who kept living with their partner and lost their kid for two years. They thought it was unfair too, but it wasn’t.
Dakotah said: @nickeljayz
You need to decide between your partner and your child. I know someone who kept living with their partner and lost their kid for two years. They thought it was unfair too, but it wasn’t.
@nickeljayz
The court isn’t trying to keep you from your child, they just believe the situation should be handled a certain way, and that view is different from yours.
The court has more authority than you do. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but you have to deal with it. How can you follow the court’s orders while working through this? Maybe your partner can move out during visitations? Are there classes you can take to address any concerns the court has?
If you don’t have an attorney, get one. This is a process, not something that can be fixed right away. Your goal is to show you want what’s best for your child. Courts don’t always get things right, but they don’t want to get things wrong. You need more proof if the current evidence isn’t enough. Good luck.
@Delilah
Thanks for your advice. I get that the court has authority, but it’s frustrating when they’re ignoring clear proof. My child’s therapist and even the evidence of parental alienation are being overlooked. I’m committed to doing everything I can to help my child, and I’m following the court’s requirements as best I can. I’ve even completed a parenting class and can now teach it myself.
I’ve been hesitant to get another lawyer after wasting so much money on poor representation, but you’re right, this will take time and effort. My main goal is to create a safe and healthy environment for my child.
@Delilah
I agree. Here’s another thing to keep in mind—just be the best parent you can with the time you’re given.
I only have 30% custody of my kids because of lies my ex told during our divorce. Yes, it’s hard, but I’m still raising them. I focus on teaching them what they need to know with the time I have. In the end, my kids will know I was always there for them.
If you keep this goal in mind, you’ll be okay no matter what the court says.
@nickeljayz
You should get a lawyer to file motions for you.
But until that’s sorted, make sure you follow the court orders exactly. If what you’re saying is true, it’ll take time to fix this, but it might be worth considering leaving your partner so you don’t lose your child while you’re fighting this.