So my husband and I have been together for 9 years. For the last 6 years, he and I have been the ones raising his 2 kids (aged 11 & 12) because BM took off to ‘live her best life.’ She’s back now and is taking my husband to court for custody because she didn’t like that we wanted to take it slow and get advice from a reunification counselor on how to properly move forward with creating a new normal for the kids. No joke, 30 days after she returned from her 6-year absence, she filed contempt charges against my husband for not ‘following the parental plan.’ Husband just got his first set of interrogatory questions from BM, and a few of the questions ask about me and the children, our established relationship, how I plan on handling co-parenting with BM, stuff like that. Our lawyer has advised us on how to answer these questions, but it’s gotten me thinking about what is going to be expected of me this time around (husband and his ex were in the middle of custody court when we met). I mean, I wouldn’t expect to be involved much if she hadn’t been gone for 6 years, but she was. My husband and I have been together long enough that the kids literally don’t remember a time in their lives where I wasn’t in it, and for the last 6 years, I have been the sole maternal figure for these kids. For perspective, the youngest hadn’t even started kindergarten when BM left, and they are now in middle school. Should I expect a set of interrogatories of my own that I’ll need to answer? Is the judge going to want to talk to me at all? I’m assuming yes, just because you can’t take on an active parental role for a kid and then not expect to have to tell a judge about it when you have to go to custody court for said kid. I just don’t know what I should be expecting from all of this. Any advice you guys can give would be appreciated. Thank you.
That sounds really complicated. I think it’s definitely possible you’ll be asked to provide your perspective in court since you’ve been such a big part of their lives. Have you talked to your lawyer about it?
I wouldn’t be surprised if you get your own set of questions. Since you’ve been raising them, it makes sense for them to want your input.
Judges usually want to hear from everyone involved, especially if you’ve been a primary caregiver. Just be honest and straightforward.
I think it’s great you’re being proactive about this. Have you thought about how you’ll explain your role in their lives?
It sounds like a tough situation with BM coming back. Just keep focusing on the kids and your relationship with them.