We’re planning a family trip, and I asked my ex if I could switch weekends so my daughter could join us. He agreed, but only if she doesn’t miss school. The trip is leaving on Thursday, meaning she would miss one school day. I know some parents pull their kids out for multiple days, but her dad believes missing school is unacceptable.
Should I cancel the trip to avoid her missing one day? Or should I go ahead and let her skip school? I’m also thinking about letting her fly alone after school on Friday to meet us, but that makes me uneasy.
One day missing school really isn’t a big deal unless it’s a frequent occurrence. I remember my mom took me out for a week every year to go to Disney, and I would do all my schoolwork during the trip. As long as your daughter isn’t constantly missing school, it shouldn’t be an issue. A judge would probably be fine with it if it’s just one day, not a regular thing. Just my opinion though.
Most judges I’ve seen wouldn’t care about missing one day for a special trip. A pattern of missing school would be different, but one day is usually no problem.
Is the Thursday you’re leaving part of your weekend? If you have a lawyer, maybe ask them for advice.
So you’re going on the trip anyway? If it’s just one day, maybe you should fly with her after school on Friday. But if you don’t follow his request, he might use it against you later, and it could hurt your chances if this goes to court. He’s likely never going to let you switch weekends again if you ignore his request. I’d suggest just flying out with her Friday.
My custody agreement says no school absences for travel. My coparent had the first trip, and my child returned right before midnight on a school night. My coparent said the child was sick and missed school, which I knew was a lie.
It really depends on where you live. In my area, judges don’t like parents letting kids miss school for trips unless there’s a very good reason. A family trip wouldn’t usually be enough.
I wouldn’t take the risk. You’re already in a high conflict custody situation. Missing school will probably not help your case. The judge would most likely side with him. Education tends to take priority. He agreed to trade weekends on the condition she doesn’t miss school, so ignoring that condition might make things worse for you later. If you’re thinking of having her fly alone, she’s only 10—are you sure it’s safe for her? Wouldn’t it be better to wait and travel together?
Is this family trip during her spring break, or is it just a regular weekend? How old is your daughter?
You might want to talk to your ex again and explain that the trip is only a three-day weekend, and you’ll make sure she does any schoolwork in advance. Ask if he’d be open to letting her miss one day. But if you’re set on leaving Thursday night and don’t want her traveling alone, this might be tricky. He might not agree with her flying solo. You probably don’t want to take her out of school without his approval since he can contact the school and report it.
Francesca said:
What does your custody order say? Who has primary custody? Do you have full decision-making authority about school issues?
If it’s unclear, it might be best to ask a lawyer for advice.
Even if you have sole custody, I’d still be careful. Anything that goes against his wishes can be used against you later if he wants to take more custody.
@SandraAllen
Does the custody order mention anything specific about school decisions, or is it just a 50/50 split? If it doesn’t, you might have to get his approval for this, and it could be difficult to make the decision on your own. Usually, if there’s no specific clause, both parents need to agree.