What’s the Difference Between Joint Legal Custody and Primary Physical Custody?
I have primary physical custody of my child while my ex and I share joint legal custody. I live in New Jersey, and my ex is trying to exert control by claiming he has veto power over decisions related to our child.
For example, he has insisted that I should quit my job to spend more time with our child, said I can’t move without his approval of the local public school (even though it’s excellent), and he’s even stated that he can prevent me from taking a honeymoon with my new husband if my family stays with and watches our child (I offered him the opportunity to care for her, but he declined).
Can someone provide a clear explanation of my rights as a parent with physical custody, his rights as a parent with joint legal custody, and the limitations of these rights?
First, here’s the standard definition of legal custody: it involves making major decisions affecting the children, such as their religious education, school choices, tutoring, cultural education, extracurricular activities, and health care.
The key point about joint legal custody is that both parents must be involved in significant decisions about the children. This means you need to share information and seek input from the other parent.
If you don’t involve the other parent in decisions, you risk them taking legal action for contempt of court, which could lead to a hearing. Therefore, it’s important to keep a paper trail showing that you’ve sought their input.
Regarding your specific examples:
Job Situation: If your ex says you should quit your job, ask them in writing to provide a statute or case law requiring you to consider their input on your employment. This is not typically a decision affecting the children under family law.
Moving and School: This issue is related to legal custody because moving and changing schools are significant decisions. With joint legal custody, you should consult with and obtain written approval from the other parent.
If you’ve asked for input at least 30 days before the move and can’t reach an agreement, you might need to file a request with the court to approve the move, which can help avoid a contempt charge.
Honeymoon: Decisions about a reasonable vacation and child care during that time fall under physical custody, not legal custody. Ask your ex in writing to provide a statute or case law that grants them control over child care during your custody time.
Document all requests and your responses. If your ex is making unreasonable demands to control you, consider having a family law attorney send a letter outlining why these demands are unreasonable. This letter might prompt your ex to seek legal advice themselves and could also address the possibility of recovering attorney’s fees for dealing with frivolous claims.
This is exactly the information I was looking for. I’m really impressed by how quickly you responded. Thank you so much. I hope others find this helpful as well.
Legal custody involves making major decisions about a child’s life, including their education, health care and extracurricular activities. With joint legal custody, both parents must be involved in these decisions and share relevant information with each other.
Failing to involve the other parent in these decisions can lead to a contempt of court charge, which can be serious. It’s crucial to keep a record of attempts to involve the other parent in decision-making.
Regarding your examples:
Job Change: It’s generally not required to seek the other parent’s input on employment decisions unless it directly affects the children. You could ask them to provide legal reasons if they believe it does.
Moving Schools: Changing a child’s residence or school is a significant decision requiring both parents’ approval in writing when there’s joint legal custody. If you cannot agree, you may need to seek a court order to resolve the issue.
Honeymoon: Vacation decisions and child care during such times are typically under physical custody, not legal custody. You can ask the other parent to provide legal justification for interfering with your plans.
Document all communications and consider having a family law attorney draft a letter to the other parent if they make unreasonable demands. This letter could outline why their requests are unreasonable and warn of potential legal action and recovery of attorney’s fees for frivolous demands. This might prompt them to seek legal advice themselves.
The parent with primary physical custody is the child’s primary caregiver. They make day-to-day decisions. Legal custody refers to the right to make major life decisions for the child, like medical choices or education.
Joint Legal Custody means both parents share the right to make major decisions about the child’s life. Primary Physical Custody means the child lives mostly with one parent, who handles daily care.